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WSPD Yarns
- At a pipe competition in Napier the Band got a bit above
themselves after a few "quiets" and decided, although it was late at night, to
treat the locals to some piping. Before long a member of the constabulary appeared and
asked the band to shut-up. The constable informed them that this was a residential area
and that several residents had complained. While the policeman was thinking "please
don’t make me arrest you", G--- replied, "I’m not surprised they
complained - I don’t think much of B--- ‘s doublings either".
- C--- was a side-drummer on his first Anzac Day dawn service
parade. At the beginning of the service the drum corp solemnly make a slow roll.
Unfortunately no-one told C--- about the *Howitzer* positioned 40 yards
away (it was still dark) and the resounding boom before the roll was followed by the
resounding clatter of C---’s drumsticks falling to the ground via his
side-drum.
- After a parade some of the band went to H---'s house for a
few drinks. Enthused, D--- decided to have a go on H---’s "nifty
fifty" and roared up and down the road. It was a gusty day and suffice it to say that
the band, and the general neighbourhood, is under no misapprehensions as to what D---
wears under his kilt.
- One year the PM was explaining to the drum corps when they
would have to play the slow rolls during the Anzac Day service. "One slow roll after
the howitzer fires, and another after the benediction" said the PM. "What's a
'benediction'?" asked one of the drummers."It's when the minister says 'the
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost'". The bendiction is actually at the end of the service,
but sure enough in the middle of the service the minister finished a prayer with "In
the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost". You can gues what happened next...
- During a James Smith's Christmas parade a few years back one
of the "roving" clowns decided to get a few laughs at the expense of the WSPD.
The clown repeatedly harassed the DM and other members of the band, trying to put them off
their stride and disrupt their playing. It seems that the Clown pushed someone in the band
too far by launching himself right into the ranks of the band. No-one knows exactly what
happened, but by the time the clown emerged from the rear of the band he was lying on the
ground groaning, no doubt anticipating a visit to his proctologist.
- After T--- relinquished control of the minibus on the way
back from the Napier competitions, a certain piper whose name shall not be mentioned (but
his initials are "DS") took over the driving. Going through the Manawatu gorge -
a narrow, windy, slipery precipice, high above the swollen Manawatu river - DS forgot that
he was not behind the wheel of his Toyota Celica and caused more than a few drops of amber
liquid to be spilt, much to the annoyance of the passengers!
- One fine morning S--- was practising outside the front of
the band hall on the edge of Point Jerningham. This point is a "crag" above the
road that circles the bays in Wellington Harbour, and S--- was visible to the joggers and
strollers below. The atmoshperics proved too much for one passer-by who, seized with a fit
of nostalgia for the home country, came up to the band hall to share a dram from his
(full) bottle of single malt with the "solo" piper. Unfortunately on requesting
some glasses, out from the band hall came the other nine thirsty pipers (with nine
glasses!) who had been practising that morning also...
- G--- is a bass drummer with the band. On reading the
humerous bagpipe quiz he was heard to ask
"where's the answers?".
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